Some days, I feel like I just can't do it anymore. That the pain, the waiting, the longing, it's all just too much to handle. And I've come to realize that I'm right in feeling that way, because I can't handle it. Only HE can. But I must allow Him to pick up my burdens.
One of the most difficult things for me is taking my troubles to God and leaving them there. I too often turn to God in prayer, with every intention of handing it all over to Him, only to go about my day suddenly realizing I'm still carrying all of the worries I thought I had abandoned. As painful as this is for me, I can't help but be overwhelmed with sadness when I think about just how much this must hurt my Father. The lack of faith and trust I display in these moments has to break His heart. Imagine this being your own child. They come to you with their problems, and you're so happy they have confided in you! You have the perfect solution to their issue and you offer to take care of it for them, letting them know it's all going to be just fine. While you're working on it, you realize that they are still continuing to worry and stress over it and even trying to fix it "their way." That would hurt. They don't trust that you can fix it. They don't believe that you know best. Well I don't know about you, but I do this to God constantly. And quite honestly, I'm tired. Tired of trying to carry it by myself, tired of trying to fix situations that are completely out of my control.
1 Peter 5:5b-7 tells us , "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." I believe that's the key--we must humble ourselves. We have to acknowledge that we cannot do it alone, that we need our Father to carry our burdens and to navigate us through our troubles. We have to let go of any notion that we are capable of handling it ourselves and we must trust that our Savior has it all under control.
So today, I pray that God will allow me to be humbled that I may fully trust in His goodness! I pray that I will always have faith, even if at times it is as small as a mustard seed, for even then God will move mountains! I pray that I will be a light to all of those who are struggling with control, struggling to have faith, and that through my trials, they will see just what God is capable of! For His plans and purpose for our lives are far greater than we can even begin to imagine!
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland," Isaiah 43:18-19
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